yay, more depressing stuff. joy oh joy. not. guys, your comments are really nice, and i’m sorry i can’t write something less sad for y’all. i’m just not feeling the happy writing vibes, ya know? anyways, let’s get on to our weird poem story thing.
*warning: this story contains character eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, depression, self harm (kind of?), and suicide. if you are under thirteen, do not read this poem without parental permission, unless you’re absolutely SURE you can handle it.*
(if i was prettier, would he like me?)
mai admires him from across the room. her eyes water, because she know he’ll never be hers.
(if i was thinner, would he look my way?)
she goes to take a bite of ice cream, then hesitates and replaces her spoon.
(if i was smarter, would my parents love me?)
she’s on perpetual diets. she waits for someone to notice, to tell her to stop, but no one does.
(does anyone love me?)
her mother snaps at her to finish her lasagna. mai nods, scraping her plate into the trash can when no one is looking.
(has anyone ever loved me?)
mai collapses one day during gym; she’s too thin to run a fast as they’re making her.
(will i ever be loved?)
the school nurse takes one look at her and calls the doctor.
they put a tube in her stomach, forcing her to eat, but she doesn’t want to eat, she’s too fat, she doesn’t deserve to eat.
her parents don’t even feel sorry for mai-instead, they’re mad at her. It’s her fault, she should’ve just eaten.
she believes them.
(i just want answers.)
mai rips the tube out. it hurts, but she deserves this pain and suffering. she deserves to die.
(can you help me?)
her breaths rattle in her chest. mai rubs her hands together for warmth, but there is no warmth left.
(no one can.)
“i just want someone to care about me.”
(it’s too late.)
//oh poor girl who just wanted to be loved//
//you’re in a better place now//
so that’s that. have a nice day!
p.s. i’m finally getting the hang of this whole graphics thing! yay!